When it comes to Donald Trump, one thing is undeniable—his knack for bending reality is unparalleled. Whether he’s talking about crowd sizes, election fraud, or the alleged culinary habits of Haitians, Trump has turned lying into an art form. It’s like his personal Olympics, and he’s always going for gold. So, let’s take a comedic stroll down memory lane to revisit some of the most chef’s kiss absurd lies from his first presidency and his campaigns.
The Lie Counter: Too Many to Count
First things first—how many times has Donald Trump lied? Well, according to fact-checkers like The Washington Post, Trump told over 30,000 false or misleading statements during his four years in office. That’s roughly 21 lies a day. Can you imagine lying so much you’d need a Fitbit just to keep track?
But wait, there’s more! His campaigns—both past and present—have been just as bountiful in the fib department. Let’s dive into some of his most bizarre and jaw-dropping whoppers.
1. Haitians Eating Cats and Dogs (2024 Campaign)
Ah yes, the latest addition to Trump’s Greatest Hits: during a 2024 campaign rally, Trump allegedly claimed that Haitians were eating cats and dogs in the streets of Springfield, Ohio. Now, I don’t know what’s more ridiculous—the statement itself or the fact that he said it with a straight face. Spoiler alert: there’s zero evidence of this happening. But hey, why let facts get in the way of a good scare tactic?
2. Kamala Harris Isn’t Eligible for Vice Presidency
During the 2020 campaign, Trump decided to dust off his birther conspiracy playbook (remember Obama?) and suggested that Kamala Harris might not be eligible to serve as vice president because her parents were immigrants. Never mind that Harris was born in Oakland, California—a fact you can verify faster than you can tweet “Fake News!” But Trump’s strategy here is clear: if you can’t beat them, question their citizenship. Classic!
3. Bleach and Light Will Cure COVID
If you thought 2020 couldn’t get any weirder, Trump made sure it did. During a White House briefing, he floated the idea that injecting disinfectant or using UV light internally could cure COVID-19. Yes, folks, this actually happened. The world collectively facepalmed as medical professionals scrambled to remind people not to drink bleach. Meanwhile, Clorox stocks probably skyrocketed from all the panic-buying.
4. “Obama Spied on Me”
Trump has long insisted that Barack Obama wiretapped Trump Tower during the 2016 election. Despite multiple investigations and zero evidence to back this up, Trump clung to this claim like it was his last Diet Coke. It’s almost like he thinks yelling something loud enough will make it true. (Spoiler: it doesn’t.)
5. Hillary Clinton’s “3 Million Illegal Votes”
Remember when Trump claimed that Hillary Clinton only won the popular vote in 2016 because 3 million undocumented immigrants voted for her? Yeah, that happened. No evidence, no logic—just pure, unfiltered Trumpian nonsense. Honestly, at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he blamed aliens from Area 51 for her votes too.
6. Joe Biden Is Controlled by Shadowy Forces
In his 2020 campaign, Trump repeatedly claimed that Joe Biden was a puppet controlled by “radical leftists.” According to Trump, Biden was simultaneously too old and sleepy to function but also somehow masterminding America’s downfall with Antifa on speed dial. Make it make sense!
Lying as a Lifestyle
The thing about Trump is that his lies aren’t just exaggerations—they’re often completely untethered from reality. It’s like he’s playing a game of Mad Libs where every blank is filled with “China,” “fake news,” or “witch hunt.”
But here’s the kicker: his base eats it up! Whether it’s because of loyalty, entertainment value, or sheer disbelief that someone could lie so boldly, Trump has turned lying into a political superpower.
Final Thoughts: A Legacy of Lies
Donald Trump’s relationship with the truth is like oil and water—they just don’t mix. From Haitian culinary conspiracies to bleach injections, his lies are as colorful as they are ridiculous. While fact-checkers might see him as their arch-nemesis, comedians everywhere owe him a debt of gratitude for providing endless material.
So here’s to you, Donald—may your lies continue to baffle and bewilder us all (from a safe distance). And remember, folks: don’t drink bleach!
