When my daughter came out to me as transgender, I’ll admit, it caught me off guard. Not because I didn’t love her—my love for her was never in question—but because I realized I had so much to learn. In that moment, I knew my role as a parent wasn’t to question or resist her truth but to stand beside her, to love her unconditionally, and to support her in becoming the person she was always meant to be.
Parenting is a journey, and for those of us with LGBTQ+ children, it can sometimes feel like we’re navigating uncharted waters. But here’s what I’ve learned: our love and support as parents can make all the difference in the lives of our children.
The Power of Parental Support
Research consistently shows that LGBTQ+ youth who have supportive families are more likely to thrive. They experience lower rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation compared to those who face rejection at home. This is not to say there are no struggles with depression or anxiety even with support. For my daughter, knowing that her Mother loves her for who she is has given her the confidence to embrace her identity and pursue her dreams without fear.
I’ve seen firsthand how my support has impacted her. She’s blossomed in ways I never imagined—her smile is brighter, her laughter more frequent, and her sense of self stronger. She knows she has a safe place to land when the world feels harsh or unkind, and that safety I hope has given her wings.
The Other Side of the Story
Unfortunately, not all LGBTQ+ children are met with love and acceptance at home. I think about a young boy I met at a job I had quite a few years ago. He was kicked out of his home when he came out as gay. At just 16 years old, he was navigating homelessness, rejection, and a deep sense of abandonment. Despite his resilience, the pain of losing his family was evident in his eyes.
The contrast between his experience and my daughter’s couldn’t be starker. While she is thriving in the warmth of my acceptance, he’s struggling to find his footing in a world that feels cold and unwelcoming. It breaks my heart to know that so many young people face similar challenges simply because they were born into families that couldn’t—or wouldn’t—accept them for who they are.
What We Can Do as Parents
Supporting our LGBTQ+ children doesn’t mean we have all the answers or that we won’t make mistakes along the way. It means listening with an open heart, learning from those who’ve walked this path before us, and showing up for our kids every single day.
Here are a few things that have helped me as a parent:
- Educate Yourself: Understanding your child’s identity is key to supporting them. Read books, attend workshops, or join local LGBTQ+ groups to learn more.
- Create a Safe Space: Let your child know they can talk to you about anything without fear of judgment or rejection.
- Advocate for Them: Stand up for your child in schools, communities, and beyond. Your voice as a parent can be incredibly powerful in creating a more inclusive world.
- Celebrate Their Journey: Every milestone deserves recognition—whether it’s coming out, choosing a new name, or simply being their authentic self.
The Ripple Effect of Love
When we support our LGBTQ+ children, we’re not just changing their lives—we’re changing the world. My daughter once told me that my acceptance gave her hope that others might accept her too. That hope has fueled her determination to live authentically and advocate for others in the LGBTQ+ community.
To parents who might be struggling with this journey: I see you, and I understand your fears. But trust me when I say this—your child needs your love now more than ever. The world can be a tough place for LGBTQ+ people, but knowing they have a someone who loves them unconditionally can be the light that guides them through even the darkest days.
Our children deserve to feel loved for who they are—not despite it, but because of it. And as parents, we have the privilege and responsibility to be their first and fiercest allies. Let’s rise to that challenge together.
With love and hope,
A Proud Parent
